[ Ah, here it is. The words he was waiting for (expecting? Figured would come sooner or later? They're all the same, by this point).
But even when they come he doesn't feel the immediate spike of annoyance, or any sort of resentment. He still feels ... empty. Tired. And they're both feelings he's perfectly okay with, he finds, easily embracing them - better than most of his emotions, actually.
Apparently, shock does some weird things to do (not that he knows this).
So he combats those words - those carefully controlled words - with the same simplicity as the beginning. ] Say what?
"You shouldn't have done that"? [ The pokeball in his hand stops moving. ] There's no point, is there? It already happened.
[ It's hard to keep in, that surge through him. Through his throat and into his lungs, beating his blood in an ugly way. He's picking into his trouser with a single nail, rubbing it into his skin, and his toes press inside his shoes, though that does less for the energy in him. ]
So what - [ He looks away from the ball, going from it to the dirt floor. ] It doesn't matter? We can't do anything, so why care? What's the point of being mad?
[ The emotion seeps in, little by little, while still his voice keeps low. ] Do you even know why?
Or doesn't that matter. [ And there, the bitterness, hardening his words. ]
[ Was he this naive when he was 12 years old? He hopes not.
Or at least, that's the only idle thought Green can form in his head, eyes not quite meeting Red's -- but also not looking at anywhere in particular anymore. ] ... I think so.
[ It's one thing he's willing to admit truthfully, because the sequence of events make it so painfully obvious. If it isn't because he screwed up a mission he wasn't supposed to (granted, you're not supposed to screw up any mission), then he'd be ... angrier about this.
Maybe later, though. Right now ... ] I'm pretty sure. [ He'll have to double check. Later. ]
I told you, it's punishment. "Don't screw up again".
[ It's suffocating, and Red can't stay seated any longer, raising up onto his feet from his place beside - or whoever it is this person he's with is, who Red turns on his heel just to check. But the older boy's words are a clearer image than the person in front of him, a person willing to accept something so horrible without question and act like nothing but a fixture to their situation. ]
I'll never be like that. I'll never stop caring. [ Someone who wouldn't feel, because what was the point. Someone who would be so compliant to their place in all of this.
He can't do anything for somebody like that. Not here, not right now. His own emotions are much too loud, the names of the people suffering much too long. So Red continues, without much more than a short pause from the last of his words: ]
I'm going to help. Do what you want. [ A beat, and then- ] Peter Parker called you his friend. How about you pretend to care about what happened to him the next time you see him. Garrus too.
[ He says it like venom, to sink into a place where he hopes (he knows, he wants to) exist. But he won't wait to see, turning on his feet to begin walking away, too scared to take any satisfaction from whatever response it achieves. And he wants to help, whatever that may be -- he'll figure something out. ]
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But even when they come he doesn't feel the immediate spike of annoyance, or any sort of resentment. He still feels ... empty. Tired. And they're both feelings he's perfectly okay with, he finds, easily embracing them - better than most of his emotions, actually.
Apparently, shock does some weird things to do (not that he knows this).
So he combats those words - those carefully controlled words - with the same simplicity as the beginning. ] Say what?
"You shouldn't have done that"? [ The pokeball in his hand stops moving. ] There's no point, is there? It already happened.
It's punishment, not a death sentence.
no subject
So what - [ He looks away from the ball, going from it to the dirt floor. ] It doesn't matter? We can't do anything, so why care? What's the point of being mad?
[ The emotion seeps in, little by little, while still his voice keeps low. ] Do you even know why?
Or doesn't that matter. [ And there, the bitterness, hardening his words. ]
no subject
Or at least, that's the only idle thought Green can form in his head, eyes not quite meeting Red's -- but also not looking at anywhere in particular anymore. ] ... I think so.
[ It's one thing he's willing to admit truthfully, because the sequence of events make it so painfully obvious. If it isn't because he screwed up a mission he wasn't supposed to (granted, you're not supposed to screw up any mission), then he'd be ... angrier about this.
Maybe later, though. Right now ... ] I'm pretty sure. [ He'll have to double check. Later. ]
I told you, it's punishment. "Don't screw up again".
no subject
[ It's suffocating, and Red can't stay seated any longer, raising up onto his feet from his place beside - or whoever it is this person he's with is, who Red turns on his heel just to check. But the older boy's words are a clearer image than the person in front of him, a person willing to accept something so horrible without question and act like nothing but a fixture to their situation. ]
I'll never be like that. I'll never stop caring. [ Someone who wouldn't feel, because what was the point. Someone who would be so compliant to their place in all of this.
He can't do anything for somebody like that. Not here, not right now. His own emotions are much too loud, the names of the people suffering much too long. So Red continues, without much more than a short pause from the last of his words: ]
I'm going to help. Do what you want. [ A beat, and then- ] Peter Parker called you his friend. How about you pretend to care about what happened to him the next time you see him. Garrus too.
[ He says it like venom, to sink into a place where he hopes (he knows, he wants to) exist. But he won't wait to see, turning on his feet to begin walking away, too scared to take any satisfaction from whatever response it achieves. And he wants to help, whatever that may be -- he'll figure something out. ]